I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
