You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
