it hurts more in the daytime
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
