how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize