you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
