Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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