i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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