just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
