Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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