He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
