so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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