Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
