He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
