Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
