$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
