Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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