addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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