On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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