I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
