she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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