I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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