He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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