Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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