dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
