I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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