We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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