at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
