I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just tell him i said nine months
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
