i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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