talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
