bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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