we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
