remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I don't think brook has ever known best
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
