she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
