Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize