For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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