the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
