the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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