For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
