ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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