imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
