i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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