if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
