He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
