Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Randomize
