i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
