I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
