i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
