Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Are we still banned from the library?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
