She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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