i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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