i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
