it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
