my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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