yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
