I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize