it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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