the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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