we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize