Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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